Appraisal

My appraisal is going to take place today, clutching a plastic folder i wait outside the VP's cabin. The folder contains documentary evidence of my activities throughout the year. I somehow know exactly how this appraisal is going to be like. Facing two appraisals is enough to qualify anyone to talk about these damned ordeals.

This case shall be known as "The people of the company v/s the apraisee". The apraisee who shalt hitherto be known as the accused sits clutching his folder in nervous hands, whilst everyone else in the room are greeting each other gravely. Then they settle down and a hush spreads over the cabin. The immediate boss who shalt hitherto be known as the Victim smiles and begins his opening speech starting with some small talk about how many things have been kept pending because of these appraisals etc. They should understand that he is to be counted as one among them and not to be seen as a confederate of the accused, also that he does not endorse the views of the accused in any way, this helps to make sure that his own appraisal wont get affected. Finally the chief stares at the accused and in a "where were you on the night of june the nineteenth?" manner asks him about his activities throughout the year. Taking advantage of the kind attention appraisee slides Exhibit A - Appraisal form onto the table.

The chief picks up the document appearing to be extremely interested. He can be only as interested as someone who has done nothing else but examine such forms in the last two days). He remarks about some flaw in spelling, formatting or the content to remind everyone that he is THE BOSS and that none else in the room should entertain a similar delusion.

The number of items and the length of each item in the achievements column of the form gives the chief an idea of how long it will take him to deal with this crisis. He immediately asks the accused if he has anything to say about the matter.

The accused, not knowing that what he says can be used against him starts talking. He starts with what he had been told to achieve last year i.e his KRA's. The cabin remains silent as he speaks while the chief gives sympathetic nods for encouragement. He listens carefully, for it is here that he will obtain points for his case.
By now the accused has finished with the preliminaries and begins with his first achievement. While he is talking the immediate boss sits quietly looking around with a "forgive them god for they know not what they do" look on his face
. This look doesnt go unnoticed.

Like in the famous saying, the chief too looks after his own kind so he takes the cue. The accused has just finished with the first achievement and the chief gives him a look bus conductors are known to give when handed a 1000 rupee note for a 3 rupee ticket.
That is when the show begins.
Somehow the chief cannot understand how the accused had anything to do with the achievement. There is insufficient evidence. Firstly concerned people havent witnessed the achievement, those who did witness werent concerned, and those witnesses who were concerned arent allowed to testify by law. There are documents offcourse but these should have been presented earlier, before the accused knew he would be asked to prove his case. Its a clear case of fraud, however these things happen and anyway that is another case.

All the other achievements meet a similar fate. The chief dispels each appeal with stern words, ridicule and disbelief in the reverse order. The victim in the meanwhile sits thinking about how hard the world is. He can only smile wearily at the stark reality of life, at the lies, the false petitions and the treachery thats going on. After all that he got done, after all the late hours that he made his subordinates put in this is what he gets in return, how can they lay claim to having done anything at all when he got it done? This thing thats going on is nothing but an attempt to delay the course of law, he has faith though. Justice will be done.

The accused has just finished with his last achievement and he is now exhausted, every one of his nimble arguments have been dealt with by able hands. He stares back like a stripper caught in a police raid. Everything has been proved false except for two things. First one is that the accused was in the company for the last one year, here the chief grants the benefit of doubt, besides one cant be too hard, criminals are human too. The other fact the chief doesnt refute is that the accused is employed in the company for that would mean a mistrial on grounds of jurisdiction.
The appraisal ends and the accused is sentenced to yet another year of rigorous imprisonment. The victim keeps a grave face, one cant grin from ear to ear and show a noble composure at the same time. All that the accused laid claim to will be granted as compensation to the victim.
Justice is blind, anyone who sees with their ears is blind. Like bats.

The people who pass by smile sympathetically, like the other patients before an operation. Through the glass door of the cabin I can see the proceedings for yet another execution. Wish me luck.

adventure of imagination

I am at a place called Nagamod, its called so because of the way the winding road snakes through the mountains. As the bus puffs its way along the winding road, i get to gaze for some time at the vast valleys and the dense forest. For a moment i wonder how difficult this place would have been in the distant past.

at a time when the mountains were pristine and untouched by the caresses of the ebony roads. When the ghats were still to enter the imagination of men. these mountains must have been manly and forbidding.

at such times Shivaji and his men had their numerous adventures, their proud horses galloped through the passes whilst their riders thought of yet another trick to outwit the enemy. These guerrillas ruled these jungles then.

the bus has entered a small town where an ancient shop displays a blue sign that informs me that i can buy NOKIA mobiles here.

Ungodly hours

why am i up at this time? I work, i go to work in an office. I have a job in a company like eight hundred others, most of them are sleeping now or are involved in unmentionable creative activities. Why am i up? That question has been keeping giving me company for sometime now. how many people stay up like me? ok typing this blog has helped me feel sleepy. I have a feeling that reading it will make you feel sleepy as well. Gutt nakht

Hallelujah

The rains have arrived today. Pune is wet and i am sitting in the aforementioned udupi hotel awaiting my candlelight dinner. Its raining outside and i am typing my blog. Couldnt get better than this, sitting in the dark blogging whilst the general public stands under every available piece of tin roof stunned by the rain. No greater pleasure than knowing that you are not in it. Thats what makes me feel cozy. Whats more i've got an umbrella. umbrella as in 'mere paas gadi hai bangla hai bank balance hai, kya hai tumhare paas?' ---- aaj mere paas umbrella hai. Bad joke. Must be the rain.
This reminds me of the cover of upamanyu chatterjee's novel -- 'English August' a painting of a confused looking young man holding an umbrella. I realise at this moment how similar my life is compared to agastya the main character of that story. Convent educated, away from home, alone, in a different work culture, meeting people that he finds strange and what he thinks of these people. I do find it all too similar. But then that is what makes writers click doesnt it? Characters that people can identify with.
Ok my food has arrived, its steaming and looks delicious. Kindly note that i have called agastya the 'main character' and not the protagonist.

slumdog the aftermath

is slumdog really a hell of a movie or is it just the indian in me trying to find some greatness in everything western. It may be my insecurities trying to find acceptance with that part of the world which called it a great film.

Till a few days ago, i like many others thought this movie as a reminder that we still belong to the third world. It seemed like a well disguised Indian movie on india.

Now i realise what that movie is. firstly, yes it deserved the awards. This movie deserved all it got for being an epic movie on indian films. This movie is a collage of all that indian films are about